Can you high five yourself?

When the All Blacks win the next rugby world cup  the Kiwis will have no problem celebrating.  When your friend, colleague, child or even pet has a success you have no issue applauding.  But giving ourselves a high five when we make it to a milestone & shouting “Good on me” from the rooftops? It seems to feel a little squeamish.

As The You Project turns one this week and LinkedIn’s constant alerts signal more excitement about the anniversary than me I questioned why is it that I felt so uncomfortable celebrating.  Particularly outwardly. Down-under we like to think we have a ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’  criticising any sign of a self-promoter however Tony Robbins who has worked with millions of people worldwide assures us we are not that special, this is a worldwide phenomenon –  we just have a good name for it.

Most of us were brought up not to brag about achievements and those kids that did were certainly frowned on. But why do we accept someone being proud of their achievement as bad?   Is it possible to re-frame our beliefs around this in order for us to display pride more freely?

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One of the most common barriers to acknowledging success is worrying about what people will think. But as Marie Forleo reminded clients in a recent vlog there are always going to be people who judge you. Key question:  Who are you living your life for? Are you trying to live your whole life not judged by anyone? Because we know that is actually not possible and attempting it is going to be very unfulfilling.  Draw a line in the sand & leave the naysayers who judge where they are – they’re not likely to be crucial to your success anyway.

Setting very high standards and the ‘I’m not enough’ syndrome also hold us back from celebrating success. “Once I have reached 1,000 clients or when I get the promotion then I’ll celebrate”. But this is a moving goal post. If you work like this, there will always be another goal to achieve and you’ll also miss out on the awesome dopamine which comes from acknowledging an awesome outcome.

How to say “good on ya” and reap the rewards:

  • Enjoying your success builds confidence, self-worth and creates a positive energy around you which people find infectious and want to get on board with.
  • Acknowledging your achievement inwardly by meditating, journalling or pondering as you exercise recalling HOW you got to where you are today. The lessons, the wins and the challenges you overcame along the way.
  • It’s not ALL about you.  Celebrate your achievements with those key players who helped you get there & spread the good vibes by asking them what they have done lately they are proud of?
  • Celebrating doesn’t have to be a big night on the ‘turps’ or a $500 day spa package. Come up with a list of small treats, activities or moments.
  • YOU are the key pillar to the success in your life. If you can’t say good job to yourself why should anyone else?

The YOU Project is still very much in its infancy. No bids for takeovers just yet. It’s been an exhilarating roller coaster ride of self-discovery, intensive networking and dealing with an HR manager, marketing and finance departments with different agendas has had it’s moments. However while there is so much still to accomplish I have made it to a year.  Every day I still feel so excited to work with my awesome clients and help move them to more fulfilling places. I get to learn and develop new inspiring content, create workshops and have some awesome projects in the pipeline.  A massive part of my year has also been reaffirming what incredible support I have from my network of mentors, clients, family & friends which has given me so many rewarding opportunities.

So I’m going to toot my horn this week. Toot toot.  I’m proud The YOU Project has turned one. I’m not worried if people judge me for feeling a bit of goodness. That is their choice. I’m walking the walk of what I spend my days encouraging my clients to do – take a moment to go “Yes, actually Bec, good work, keep it up”.

So what latest achievement are you proud of? Your task for this week is ASK 3 people what they are most proud of at the moment then share yours – a little self promo never hurt anyone. I want to hear about it!

2Finally, a massive thank you to all the awesome clients, mentors, family and friends who have been so incredibly supportive to me these past twelve months. I look forward to celebrating with you all soon.

What to do when you have a shocker.

You know when you have one of those weekends when event after event seems to just keep knocking you sideways and you have an absolute shocker. I had one of those a few months back just after moving into my new pad.

It started at 530am on a Saturday fully pumped for a long road bike in the lycras with my mate which ended rather abruptly after a small uphill incident involving a lack of speed.

Next up, I had one of those ‘fabulous call centre calls’ to my new internet provider (TPG – FYI) who realized after my fourth call they don’t have my phone line turned on. At all.

Finding my inner chilled self, I headed off in excitement to F’kea (Ikea with an F for obvious reasons) in an attempt to buy some key purchases to ‘joosh’ up my place. Car full of stuff I didn’t ‘need’ I headed to a nursery for plants I didn’t ‘need’ when I started to notice my car brakes acting up. Ok, so the brake fluid light had come on earlier in the week but…you know how it is.

No, but actually, the brakes really weren’t working! I sketchily drove to VW via the motorway pumping the non-existent brakes, gliding across lanes liberally. When I rocked up to VW they mentioned their mechanical team wasn’t in on the weekends. When I referred to the service they had recently completed and that MY BRAKES DIDN’T WORK I recommended they have a another wee think about what they might do.

In my brand new family wagon I tootled off proud as punch at my assertion with the extra room for my F’kea key purchases. Back at my apartment building (aka Fort Knox) I started carting about 20 separate parcels into the lift and just as I transferred a final package the security swipe, plus ALL my house keys, fell out of my pocket and swiftly down the lift well. My iPhone promptly died. Of course.  I burst into some weird tears. And no, I had not yet cut a spare set of keys. Hpmh.

After getting all the Ikea essentials, bushy plants & crap back in the car (no the car key did not go down – imagine), a new iPhone charger, a very large vino,  crashing on my girlfriends couch, an aggressive walk to Bronte, a cheap locksmith ($99 on a Sunday!) who a friend suggest I needed to ‘find someone like’, it was whilst sunbathing at Bondi a key question finally came to me. What would MacGyver do in this situation? He would get a magnet. Be grateful

Mitre Ten Bondi –bless them, had a magnet rod with a torch on the end ($9.95). Best purchase in a long time. Back at the ranch elevator I tied two bikini straps to the magnet then dangled it down the lift shaft – and after three attempts boom! Keys retrieved.

So apart from not trusting TPG when they say you are ‘internet ready’, learning that a brake fluid light means you really should drive immediately to VW, getting spare keys cut pronto and obtaining a large ugly key ring what were my life lessons that weekend?

Thank you

It was all about gratitude.  Aside from being grateful for the hours of MacGyver viewing circa ’85/’86 I would not have survived without my urban family. Not only for physical help but emotional support to have a laugh at what had transpired & not lose the plot. I was also extremely grateful for having a roof over my head and a safe car (eventually) to drive. There’s nothing like not having something temporarily to remind you of how grateful you are.